Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dirty tricks...

...at Local 34 today. Less than 5 minutes ago, I was the victim of the weaseliest, most underhanded undermining action of our one week contest. I was done in by...Donut Meister! What just happened: I was working really hard at my computer trying to revise a document when he came up behind me, got my divided attention and slipped a paper bag into my left hand. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it was a Wendy's bag (he folded the top of the bag so I couldn't see the logo or Wendy's freckly face). While I continued working on my document with my left hand, with my right hand, I set the bag down in front of me, opened it, took out a round, plump object encased in a metallic wrapper, opened said wrapper, cut the round, plump object in half, ate the first half and then finished the second half. It was only then that I realized it was a Wendy's burger with mayo, ketchup and onion. By then it was too late. I had been completely undermined in today's effort to become the Biggest Loser, Union Style! Jessica saw the whole thing happen. I will have to think about appropriate action. Perhaps Jessica needs to rule on Donut Meister's behavior and assess penalty pounds to him. Beware, all. I'm on guard now. It won't happen so easily from now on.... You're all welcome to test me, but it won't be so easy.... (Try me with dark chocolate or cheese danish.)
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11 comments:

  1. Donut MeisterOctober 28, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    Kanten Snacker is laying the blame for his dietary indiscretion at the wrong feet. The Donut Meister didn't pry open his jaws and foce taht yummy hamberger into it. Instead, Kant Snac's own inability to resist temptation caused his doom.

    If The Donut Meister is guilty of anything, it's that he performed an act of generosity.

    Woe to all of us when we are unwilling to accept responsibility for our own actions!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 29, 2009 at 7:24 AM

    Local 34 is up to their own tricks again using Cathy as their weapons on chose this time with fruit bread downstair. They just don't give up

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kanten SnackerOctober 29, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    What?!?! There's fruit bread in the office and I'm working from home this morning??? What the...!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 29, 2009 at 10:28 AM

    Trying to tell you it's a conspiracy on the office staff

    ReplyDelete
  5. JessicaOctober 29, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Actually, besides Kanten Snacker just being just plain old WEAK, even I turned down the burger, "No thank you Laura, I'm trying to be good."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Donut MeisterOctober 29, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    For the record, there's no plot to sabotage the office staff's dietary resolve.

    However, it's a well-known medical fact that when people are in stressful situations (for example, when they're starving themselves), sometimes paranoia and persecution complexes develop. The remedy? Eat more food.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kanten SnackerOctober 29, 2009 at 5:04 PM

    WEAK??? plain, old WEAK??? in caps??? OUCH!!! really hurts to be called "plain," "old" and "WEAK" by young, red-headed girl. Gloves are off from this point on.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Donut MeisterOctober 30, 2009 at 5:19 AM

    Oooh, this is getting better than "Jon & Kate Plus 8!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 5:33 AM

    Wow no this is better than Wife Swap and the Bubble Boy

    ReplyDelete
  10. Donut MeisterOctober 30, 2009 at 5:34 AM

    Message to Jessica: I write in response to the whiny post by Skunken Knacker, or whatever his name is. I counter-challenge you to assess penalties on him, for (1) making false accusations against The Donut Meister, (2) savoring a delicious hamburger in full view of the rest of us and without regard to our feelings, and (3) always being so thin no matter what he eats. It's an outrage!

    ReplyDelete
  11. ShantelNovember 1, 2009 at 12:48 AM

    JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!...(Coughing)... JERRY, JERRY!

    ReplyDelete

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